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I am, however, content to sit back, relax, watch it blow up in their faces, and kill every ounce of dignity they have left.
Perhaps thats harsh, but I'll let cynicism to get the best of this one.
What the fuck ever. I'm going on 20 years old. I just figured High School drama was just that.
Live in the past, do what you like. It's not my life to ruin.
Maybe those are all lies, I could just be bored again.
- Mood:
amused - Music:Semisonic.
(pssst....It's alright to be jealous, I would be too.)
- Mood:Cocky
- Music:Steve Miller Band- Stuck In the Middle With You
I don't understand how girls do this day in and day out. If I was like this everyday, I'd kill myself.
Seriously.
But don't you ever turn away from the ones that help you down.
Well they'd love to save you. Don't you know they love to see you smile?
But these colors that you've shined are surely not your style.
- Mood:
mischievous - Music:Pearl Jam.
Look, I updated.
- Mood: amused
- Music:Disturbed
- Mood:
cynical - Music:The Pixies
I care so little about how "great" or how "miserable" your life is going that I'm not even going to waste the time, or the energy to point out just how fucking useless you really are.
- Mood: bitchy
- Music:Bound-Disturbed
Someone plese help me to understand the idiocy thaat flows through the majority of people around here.
- Music:Disturbed.
I'm glad everyone is so cool! I love everyone! I wish this could happen all the time!!!!!!!!
Yeah right.
if you know me at all, you know I hate this word... but your all fucking Cunts.
Have a great fucking night.
- Mood:
nauseated - Music:Deify-Disturbed
- Mood: amused
- Music:Disturbed-Deify.
Live journal has done me such a great favor...
I know I should feel empathetic when someone I know is like aww, poor me, my life sucks....
Instead of my usual response of making them feel bad by stating the obvious "look at people in *name random poor country...*
Tonight, I litterally just laughed hysterically, out loud..
The bitch of it is, I don't feel bad at all, I just laugh even harder
- Mood:I hope you die. :)
- Music:Seether
trophies and paperbacks
it's good transportation
but the brakes aren't so hot
neck tie and boxing gloves
this jackknife is rusted
you can pound that dent out
on the hood
a tinker, a tailor
a soldier's things
his rifle, his boots full of rocks
oh and this one is for bravery
and this one is for me
and everything's a dollar
in this box ...
- Music:Tom Waits
Tonight I’ve come to several conclusions. The most important of them being I don’t want to be here. As great as Oxford is, I’ve lived her 15 years, I’m sick of it. I want to do something. I want to decide to take a road trip at the drop of a hat. I desperately wish to go California. I want to go to New York. I want to travel Michigan. I want to go back to Chicago. I want to have absolutely no attachments. I want the people I knew back. I want someone who seriously wants to move out with me… I can’t afford it on my own. I want plans to stop falling through. I want. I want. I want. I wish.
- Mood:
restless - Music:Ben Kweller-Comerce, TX
Repress.
Repress.
Repress.
Repress.
- Mood: pessimistic
- Music:Clapton-Cocain
So, I’ve made it almost 19 years being able to say I have no regrets, even with my school situation. Sure, dropping Oxford sucked... but I could find a silver lining, which is very unusual for me... Country Day was a new experience, I get to work while everyone else is sitting through class, bullshit like that.
Today, however, I picked up the graduation announcements, and all the bullshit my grandma ordered. I opened it when I got home and had a complete change in attitude. That got me thinking about last November, or whenever the fuck that all happened, that was probably one of the hardest times in my life, but I can‘t complain about something that’s entirely my fault. Things like walking at graduation, caps and gowns, senior pictures, all seemed so petty to me, but now I can’t help but feel complete remorse... With all my sincerity, I’m sorry, to everyone.
I guess the moral of the story is, listen to your friends when they tell you to go to class. They mean well.
- Mood:
uncomfortable - Music:Deftones-Be Quiet and Drive.
I recently discovered a cover of "Today" done by Poison The Well. What the fuck? A big fucking congrats to them, they've given a new meaning to butchered. Only Billy Corgan can sing that song as it's intended to be... That song (the SP version) is incredible on so many levels, I can not even begin to explain it..
Today is the greatest
Today is the greatest day
Today is the greatest dayThat I have ever really known
- Mood:Nihilistic
- Music:Silverfuck~The Pumpkins
Last night I had a really good talk with a close friend, it made me actually really appreciate where I live, and those who risk their lives to keep it this way. it was strange though, the talk was not about us, or even those we know.... It also made me realize that I seriously hate high school, and all the mindless drama that comes along with it more than anything. I've also realized that I can't stand fake people, which is part of my resentment toward high school, and why those who once claimed to be my friends really aren't any longer... and why I've rekindled old friendships. Not to quote an excellent Blink 182 song but I guess this is growing up.... I won't complain.
I like when things get put in perspective.
I don't know, I'm just glad it's finally warm out, that's all.
- Mood:
accomplished - Music:My neighbors listening to Fergie way to loud.
'I'm not cut out for bright and shiny.'
- Mood:
discontent - Music:Deftones-Elite.
Anyway, i was going to come here and post some long, boring, drawnout, cynical post, but i'll spare you because of above comment...
So, Clare and I planned our summer, it's going to be fucking awesome. No one really understands the pure hatred I have toward winter and spring. Well, mostly just winter, and this in between shit where it looks warm, but--ha..NO! blah.
I can't wait till summer.
Oh, and I realized I have a strange habit of not blinking until my eyes are about to bleed, if I'm reading.
hmm
- Mood:
awake - Music:Sublime
Hello what the hell am I doing here
That's a really nice suit,
This is a really comfortable chair
See I don't know if you can help me or not
Cause I don't feel sick
But the pains in my head have almost put me underground
I don't really care if I'm healthy or not
Just clean my head up doc,
I'll give you anything you want.
See I don't know why I don't fall in love
Well maybe I know why and maybe you could make it stop.
Then we'll cut it up and bury it and leave it underground
And I'll take to wishing and fall under
Sleeping safe and sound
Just give me medicine prescribe me anything
Just knock me out and walk me through the door
I have no desire to see through my own eyes anymore
Hello what the hell are you doing here
You made a really strange face
This is a really uncomfortable air
I see I'm boring you, maybe I bore myself too
That's why I need help, I'm cleaning blood off dusty shelves
I been cut up in this room so many times it might take days
And those stress cracks in the wood
How nicely the soak up the stains
Been telling myself these jokes for so long well so long
I'm a has been who is heckled on the stage
<..Insert cynical remark here..>
- Music:Switchfoot.
